Some exciting developments this week:
-Interviews for teaching are going well! I've been hired to teach at 2 schools so far, and have a few more interviews lined up for next week.
-My first-ever opera review was published in David's Voice! You can view it here: http://davidsvoice.org/page.aspx?id=241730
-I have been asked to cover Cincinnati's Fringe Festival for David's Voice as well. I have access to all the events, including performance pieces, visual displays, parties, and general shenanigans.
-I am currently working on several performance projects which should take shape over the next couple of weeks. More to come on that.
This has been an exhaustive but exciting week. I feel like I am bringing my goals of becoming a "musician" to fruition. Ew. That rhymed. Oh well.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Final Thoughts on Tour
I sang my last OFY performance this past Saturday. It was great. I performed Mabel a total of 70 times this season...the most I've ever sung a role. It's ironic: one of the reasons I decided to go into opera versus musical theater was "I don't want to perform the same thing night after night." Now I realize 3 things: 1) if you are LUCKY, you get to perform the same role night after night!, 2)Opera companies do the same shows over and over again sometimes, so you often perform the same role with different casts, and 3)each time you perform a role, you learn more about the character and yourself as an artist, and it becomes incredibly rewarding.
Every OFY alum I spoke with before beginning tour said "oh, god, I learned SO MUCH about performing while I worked with them." It's true. I learned how to perform in varying venues, to varying crowds, age- and interest-wise, to teach children, to perform under very distracting circumstances, to perform without being able to hear the accompaniment, to pick up costume pieces when they fall off onstage, to fix set pieces when they fall down during a show, to decide in a split second whether or not the high e-flat is going to come out and change cadenza accordingly....the list goes on.
Most importantly, I learned that I want to be Involved in Music for my Career. I would love that to mean singing on the Met stage, but I am learning that a career combining teaching, soloing, concert work, auditions, writing about music, and performing in shows onstage all adds up to a very satisfying prospective career for me. As a musician, I feel that I am in a better place financially, spiritually, and intellectually than I've ever been before. I can't wait to keep going and see how far I can get as an artist.
Every OFY alum I spoke with before beginning tour said "oh, god, I learned SO MUCH about performing while I worked with them." It's true. I learned how to perform in varying venues, to varying crowds, age- and interest-wise, to teach children, to perform under very distracting circumstances, to perform without being able to hear the accompaniment, to pick up costume pieces when they fall off onstage, to fix set pieces when they fall down during a show, to decide in a split second whether or not the high e-flat is going to come out and change cadenza accordingly....the list goes on.
Most importantly, I learned that I want to be Involved in Music for my Career. I would love that to mean singing on the Met stage, but I am learning that a career combining teaching, soloing, concert work, auditions, writing about music, and performing in shows onstage all adds up to a very satisfying prospective career for me. As a musician, I feel that I am in a better place financially, spiritually, and intellectually than I've ever been before. I can't wait to keep going and see how far I can get as an artist.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Some Solutions
I have been rereading my latest post these past couple of days, and each time I read it seems a bit more gloom-and-doomy than the time before! While I do have a lot of anxiety and harbor a bit more negative attitude towards my career and where I am at this point in it than I'd like, I thought a way to ameliorate the last post would be to write about some ways I and others in my career have learned to cope with the uncertainties. I would also like to agree with my friend Abby's comment: the instabilities I spoke about could technically apply to ANY career or any point in one's life. The aspects of instability I mentioned are ones that I've felt hardest over the past couple of years, but they are certainly not exclusive to musicians. Regardless, here are solutions I/others have found to lessen the uncertainties in my/their lives:
-Routine: many people with "normal" jobs find that their life settles into a sort of routine: wake up, work out, go to work, come home. Or whatever. Often, these people get bored and want to shake things up, but in general many of us thrive on routine. My job(s) have not lent any sort of consistent rhythm to my life. Some weeks I nanny 50 hours. Some weeks I only have 10 hours of office work. Many weeks I'm out of town altogether on tour. In order to compensate, I've developed my own routines. I try to get a certain amount of practice into each day, I have certain news sites I like to check, I have tea before bed, I talk to Jon and my parents. I feel best when I get those things done each day. It makes me feel more in control of things. Whether or not I actually AM is another story, but harboring a little illusion goes a long way.
-Personal Network: sometimes I hear an inner monologue when I talk to people "could this person know someone who could help my career? how do I bring that up? Do I have a card on me? What's my website name again?" That kind of mindless mindful chatter can get pretty draining. When ALL you do is think about getting to the next step and networking, you miss out on stopping to enjoy what you do have in life. Similarly, all of the rejection you face can keep you from appreciating what you do have. A great way to keep a hold on reality is to have a "personal" network - people you can talk to about NOT your career. I try to talk to my parents and my college roommate/maid of honor every day. We don't talk about career stuff. We talk about life stuff. Which leads me to my next item,
-Having a life outside of Singing - it helps a LOT to have some kind of hobby that has little or nothing to do with your singing career. I like to go to ballet class. For awhile after school I stopped going, because I didn't see how it was helping me advance anything career-wise, and anyways it cost money. But then I realized that it helped me a great deal by not being a means to any end. I also like knitting, painting...anything creative. These things are pure enjoyment, and often provide a cathartic release from the mind chatter I wrote about earlier.
-Mediation/Body Wellness - this is one I still struggle with, as I'm a very anxious person who finds it difficult to quiet my body or my mind. But some of the singers I most admire are those who seem to have a handle on their health, wellbeing, and have some form of meditative practice. Whether it is stream-of-conciousness writing or yoga or holistic medicine or organic nutrition, I admire people who have figured out a healthy way of living that works for them and stick to it. I keep putting this one off, and I think if I figure it out I will be much happier.
If I think about it, I am pretty happy with where my life is going. I try to be grateful for things and not take too much for granted...not just in the way of singing, but in the way of life. I have family, friends, and am basically healthy. All of these things certainly take precedence over a career. I'm blessed to be well enough to worry and think and reflect every day on how my career and life are going. This blog is certainly an outlet for those worries and the blessings as well.
-Routine: many people with "normal" jobs find that their life settles into a sort of routine: wake up, work out, go to work, come home. Or whatever. Often, these people get bored and want to shake things up, but in general many of us thrive on routine. My job(s) have not lent any sort of consistent rhythm to my life. Some weeks I nanny 50 hours. Some weeks I only have 10 hours of office work. Many weeks I'm out of town altogether on tour. In order to compensate, I've developed my own routines. I try to get a certain amount of practice into each day, I have certain news sites I like to check, I have tea before bed, I talk to Jon and my parents. I feel best when I get those things done each day. It makes me feel more in control of things. Whether or not I actually AM is another story, but harboring a little illusion goes a long way.
-Personal Network: sometimes I hear an inner monologue when I talk to people "could this person know someone who could help my career? how do I bring that up? Do I have a card on me? What's my website name again?" That kind of mindless mindful chatter can get pretty draining. When ALL you do is think about getting to the next step and networking, you miss out on stopping to enjoy what you do have in life. Similarly, all of the rejection you face can keep you from appreciating what you do have. A great way to keep a hold on reality is to have a "personal" network - people you can talk to about NOT your career. I try to talk to my parents and my college roommate/maid of honor every day. We don't talk about career stuff. We talk about life stuff. Which leads me to my next item,
-Having a life outside of Singing - it helps a LOT to have some kind of hobby that has little or nothing to do with your singing career. I like to go to ballet class. For awhile after school I stopped going, because I didn't see how it was helping me advance anything career-wise, and anyways it cost money. But then I realized that it helped me a great deal by not being a means to any end. I also like knitting, painting...anything creative. These things are pure enjoyment, and often provide a cathartic release from the mind chatter I wrote about earlier.
-Mediation/Body Wellness - this is one I still struggle with, as I'm a very anxious person who finds it difficult to quiet my body or my mind. But some of the singers I most admire are those who seem to have a handle on their health, wellbeing, and have some form of meditative practice. Whether it is stream-of-conciousness writing or yoga or holistic medicine or organic nutrition, I admire people who have figured out a healthy way of living that works for them and stick to it. I keep putting this one off, and I think if I figure it out I will be much happier.
If I think about it, I am pretty happy with where my life is going. I try to be grateful for things and not take too much for granted...not just in the way of singing, but in the way of life. I have family, friends, and am basically healthy. All of these things certainly take precedence over a career. I'm blessed to be well enough to worry and think and reflect every day on how my career and life are going. This blog is certainly an outlet for those worries and the blessings as well.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Stability
A teacher-turned-colleague of mine recently sent out an email to everyone in her network asking for suggestions of courses and seminars they would like to see taught at her newly revamped music studio. Some courses she had already listed included masterclasses, seminars on "the business of singing" role preparation, audition preparation - all useful and necessary classes for a singer to take, and many of us have seminars like those during our undergrad and graduate training.
It got me thinking...there are SO MANY things I wish I had been taught and told a couple of years ago about what "being a singer in the real world" would be like. Such as millions of auditions, ending old relationships with people who didn't respect your career goals, living with 4 roommates, working 3 jobs, finding a new job every other month when you had to quit your old one to do a gig/audition season, having a long distance relationship...the list goes on. I have a feeling that either nobody could have predicted these things..or it's possible that people DID try to tell me these things (maybe not in so many words, but I do recall hearing "if you can ever think of anything else you'd rather be doing, GO DO IT" several hundred times in undergrad). I think what all of these challenges of the young singer's career have in common is "career stability, or lack thereof." If there was a class with this title, I would've signed up. I would STILL sign up. I feel like the thing that young singers are most unprepared for is that there is NO WAY to adequately prepare for all avenues of a career in the music business. And each singer needs to come to terms with that. If they can't, any joy they derive from being onstage will be outweighed by the hardships and realities that many singers our age face. Such as:
-Financial uncertainty - I have worked at no less than 4 jobs in the last year, to make ends meet. I always thought it was better that way...with babysitting, I can mostly set my own hours. With freelance journalism, the same. But I am CONSTANTLY hustling to fill up a work week with enough hours to pay the bills. It is exhausting. If I found a 9-5 job, I wouldn't have that mental strain. But I'd be tied to a job where I can't leave for an audition or gig. One way around this is to get a private studio started. I'm in the beginning stages of building a teaching career in Cincinnati...it feels good to be Using the skills I learned earning my degree, and while it is a commitment to a schedule of students, it offers more flexibility with a decent salary for fewer hours. I know a lot of singers who consider teaching "giving up" on being a performer. I used to think this way a bit, but my views of what constitutes success and a professional singing career have changed astronomically in the past couple of years.
-Emotional strain - this is a career path FILLED with rejection. No matter how good you are, there are too many factors that go into an audition to guarantee you a job. Ever. I am averaging about 30 auditions per year at this time, and I get hired from
maybe 2 out of those. If you don't have a mountain of self confidence and faith in your artistry, you are doomed.
-Relationship strain - I am extremely fortunate to have found a life partner who understands my career. The fact that we have the same job is a double-edged sword - we understand that we have to travel and that our career priorities sometimes top our relationship priorities - but at the same time, that sucks. I'm writing this from a hotel room on OFY tour, and I wish I were home writing it from my room. But then I wouldn't be performing! I have friends in this career in many different situations, relationship-wise. Some find that it is just easier to be single...to not explain to someone all of the baggage that comes with being a musician. Some are my age and divorced already. Some have spouses who have convinced them to NOT keep singing because of the strain it places on their relationship. I imagine it can be this way in any walk of life, but this is what I've seen from mine.
Creativity/Artistic growth and development - If you want to keep performing, you absolutely can, regardless of whether or not people hire you. But you MUST create your own opportunities. I was fortunate enough to graduate from Roosevelt with a group of motivated, talented friends. Through our ambitions, I've seen a few fantastic groups created: Eric Malmquist's S.O.N.G. series, for example, showcases local composers and their new works, performed by young singers and musicians of Chicago. Though I'm no longer in Chicago, I am still in close contact with my colleagues back there and will continue to perform with them whenever I can. My cellist, Kyra Saltman, and I are developing a new recital program this weekend!
One of the challenges of moving to Cincinnati has been cultivating new music contacts. I'm finally starting to develop those...church gigs are starting to come my way, I'm involved in a community show, and a few friends and I are staging and performing Mozart's Impresario in a couple of months. It's important for me to always have a musical project coming up. It's motivation to keep studying with teachers and coaches, research roles, and generally feel as if I am moving forward as an artist. It's another form of hustling, but it's much more satisfying than the financial kind.
That's all I can think of for now on this subject, but I'm sure there's more. I am about to email my colleague and thank her for encouraging this sort of critical thinking! I love it.
It got me thinking...there are SO MANY things I wish I had been taught and told a couple of years ago about what "being a singer in the real world" would be like. Such as millions of auditions, ending old relationships with people who didn't respect your career goals, living with 4 roommates, working 3 jobs, finding a new job every other month when you had to quit your old one to do a gig/audition season, having a long distance relationship...the list goes on. I have a feeling that either nobody could have predicted these things..or it's possible that people DID try to tell me these things (maybe not in so many words, but I do recall hearing "if you can ever think of anything else you'd rather be doing, GO DO IT" several hundred times in undergrad). I think what all of these challenges of the young singer's career have in common is "career stability, or lack thereof." If there was a class with this title, I would've signed up. I would STILL sign up. I feel like the thing that young singers are most unprepared for is that there is NO WAY to adequately prepare for all avenues of a career in the music business. And each singer needs to come to terms with that. If they can't, any joy they derive from being onstage will be outweighed by the hardships and realities that many singers our age face. Such as:
-Financial uncertainty - I have worked at no less than 4 jobs in the last year, to make ends meet. I always thought it was better that way...with babysitting, I can mostly set my own hours. With freelance journalism, the same. But I am CONSTANTLY hustling to fill up a work week with enough hours to pay the bills. It is exhausting. If I found a 9-5 job, I wouldn't have that mental strain. But I'd be tied to a job where I can't leave for an audition or gig. One way around this is to get a private studio started. I'm in the beginning stages of building a teaching career in Cincinnati...it feels good to be Using the skills I learned earning my degree, and while it is a commitment to a schedule of students, it offers more flexibility with a decent salary for fewer hours. I know a lot of singers who consider teaching "giving up" on being a performer. I used to think this way a bit, but my views of what constitutes success and a professional singing career have changed astronomically in the past couple of years.
-Emotional strain - this is a career path FILLED with rejection. No matter how good you are, there are too many factors that go into an audition to guarantee you a job. Ever. I am averaging about 30 auditions per year at this time, and I get hired from
maybe 2 out of those. If you don't have a mountain of self confidence and faith in your artistry, you are doomed.
-Relationship strain - I am extremely fortunate to have found a life partner who understands my career. The fact that we have the same job is a double-edged sword - we understand that we have to travel and that our career priorities sometimes top our relationship priorities - but at the same time, that sucks. I'm writing this from a hotel room on OFY tour, and I wish I were home writing it from my room. But then I wouldn't be performing! I have friends in this career in many different situations, relationship-wise. Some find that it is just easier to be single...to not explain to someone all of the baggage that comes with being a musician. Some are my age and divorced already. Some have spouses who have convinced them to NOT keep singing because of the strain it places on their relationship. I imagine it can be this way in any walk of life, but this is what I've seen from mine.
Creativity/Artistic growth and development - If you want to keep performing, you absolutely can, regardless of whether or not people hire you. But you MUST create your own opportunities. I was fortunate enough to graduate from Roosevelt with a group of motivated, talented friends. Through our ambitions, I've seen a few fantastic groups created: Eric Malmquist's S.O.N.G. series, for example, showcases local composers and their new works, performed by young singers and musicians of Chicago. Though I'm no longer in Chicago, I am still in close contact with my colleagues back there and will continue to perform with them whenever I can. My cellist, Kyra Saltman, and I are developing a new recital program this weekend!
One of the challenges of moving to Cincinnati has been cultivating new music contacts. I'm finally starting to develop those...church gigs are starting to come my way, I'm involved in a community show, and a few friends and I are staging and performing Mozart's Impresario in a couple of months. It's important for me to always have a musical project coming up. It's motivation to keep studying with teachers and coaches, research roles, and generally feel as if I am moving forward as an artist. It's another form of hustling, but it's much more satisfying than the financial kind.
That's all I can think of for now on this subject, but I'm sure there's more. I am about to email my colleague and thank her for encouraging this sort of critical thinking! I love it.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
On the Road Again
I am in the last weeks of OFY tour. This week has been going quite well. Overall, I've enjoyed my time on tour very much. It is interesting to have such a young, honest audience. You always feel their energy, and you know you are making a connection to them. You can literally see it on their faces. It's an honor to have been an ambassador of this art form, and hopefully opera will have a brighter future because of the foundation that companies like OFY provide.
Tour has also given me a taste of what it might be like to really succeed in this business...the traveling, being away from loved ones, expense at getting to and from where you need to be, changing hotels a lot, missing things like cooking, my cat, my general routine. I think the opportunity to sing is worth it. At least, at this point that is how it feels. The hardest part of this year is that this job has provided me with a taste...and just a taste. Between weeks on the road, I have had to move cities from Chicago to Cincy, and re-establish myself in work and in singing. It hasn't been an easy transition...every time I start to get settled, I have to leave again for a tour week, an audition, a competition.
But I think that's all part of the life too. I'm lucky to have some flexibility in my "real" jobs, and manage my singing career around them, but all the same it's jolting to have something different every other week. Sometimes it's hard to keep sight of why I'm pursuing this, because of the hectic schedule. But then I hear Mirella Freni sing something from Boheme, or Barber's Adagio for Strings pops up on my Pandora mix, or I go to hear Jon sing in a concert, and I'm reminded. When I hear moments of music like this, I get chills. And nothing makes me happier than the physical sensation of singing in resonance, with a relaxed body and a text full of intention. Or hearing a room of 600 kids laugh when I duck out of Frederic's reach once again. Kids often ask "what is your favorite part of the show" and everyone has different answers, but mine is always "Poor Wand'ring One, because I get to make everyone laugh." I'm in the career for the music, the stage, and the laughter.
Tour has also given me a taste of what it might be like to really succeed in this business...the traveling, being away from loved ones, expense at getting to and from where you need to be, changing hotels a lot, missing things like cooking, my cat, my general routine. I think the opportunity to sing is worth it. At least, at this point that is how it feels. The hardest part of this year is that this job has provided me with a taste...and just a taste. Between weeks on the road, I have had to move cities from Chicago to Cincy, and re-establish myself in work and in singing. It hasn't been an easy transition...every time I start to get settled, I have to leave again for a tour week, an audition, a competition.
But I think that's all part of the life too. I'm lucky to have some flexibility in my "real" jobs, and manage my singing career around them, but all the same it's jolting to have something different every other week. Sometimes it's hard to keep sight of why I'm pursuing this, because of the hectic schedule. But then I hear Mirella Freni sing something from Boheme, or Barber's Adagio for Strings pops up on my Pandora mix, or I go to hear Jon sing in a concert, and I'm reminded. When I hear moments of music like this, I get chills. And nothing makes me happier than the physical sensation of singing in resonance, with a relaxed body and a text full of intention. Or hearing a room of 600 kids laugh when I duck out of Frederic's reach once again. Kids often ask "what is your favorite part of the show" and everyone has different answers, but mine is always "Poor Wand'ring One, because I get to make everyone laugh." I'm in the career for the music, the stage, and the laughter.
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