One thing that singers are constantly asked in a conservatory setting is "why are you doing this? If you can think of anything in the world you'd rather be doing, go do that."
Every time that question/follow up statement was voiced, I responded confidently "I love singing! I love it here!"...but "here" at the time meant school.
I LOVED being in school for music. It had everything...research opportunities for your classes, recitaling, big roles in operas, and constant connection with colleagues.
Then school ended, and we were flung out into the real world. And the real world is HARD. I don't know why this should have been news to any of us, but it was. And many of the people I went to graduate school with are not performing on giant operatic stages at the moment. Myself included.
Which leaves me to wonder: what did I get my MM for? If the result of a conservatory degree is supposed to lead to a career in music, why are so many of us not there?
You might say "ah, but you're not there YET. You have to pay your dues, keep struggling, SUFFER FOR YOUR ART."
I've never been good at suffering. I LOVE my art. If I'm not doing something creative just about every minute of the day, I go to pieces. But "creative" doesn't always mean "singing." This morning I painted flower pots. I am in the middle of crocheting 2 blankets. And I've always enjoyed writing.
I've decided while I'm waiting and suffering and paying my dues, I'd like to see if one of my other creative passions can thrive as much as I hope my music will. I'm currently considering a dual career in music and writing/PR. ..I'd love a dual career in crochet and music, but the chances of making it at THOSE two are slim to nil.
I'm not looking at this decision as "giving up" on anything. I'm just looking for ways to continue satisfying myself as an artist.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
One month later, here we are
Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged! I've been LIVING the singing life instead of writing about it.
I'm just finishing up 3 weeks in a row of tour with Opera for the Young. It's been quite an experience living on the road, out of a suitcase, for almost a month. The shows have been fun. I enjoy interacting with my fellow castmates every day, and hopefully changing a few kid's lives while doing so.
I will write more soon...been thinking a lot about the career, where I'm heading in life at the moment, and the general quarterlife crisis that seems to be hitting everyone my age right about now.
I'm just finishing up 3 weeks in a row of tour with Opera for the Young. It's been quite an experience living on the road, out of a suitcase, for almost a month. The shows have been fun. I enjoy interacting with my fellow castmates every day, and hopefully changing a few kid's lives while doing so.
I will write more soon...been thinking a lot about the career, where I'm heading in life at the moment, and the general quarterlife crisis that seems to be hitting everyone my age right about now.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Work in Progress
This is my mantra for the year.
I've decided to try and take a bit of time off from auditions, because I feel as though I haven't reached my full vocal potential, and won't until I've spent more time with my new teacher and in the practice room. I hate going into auditions feeling as though the product I'm selling is incomplete. Since Young Artist Programs are supposed to DEVELOP you, there's a balance that should be struck between showing you are a good singer, but also showing that you have potential to be developed. I feel like my balance is slightly off-kilter...I want to have a better "first version" to show companies, and the only way to do that is to take a step back from auditions.
This is a scary prospect, because if I'm not actively singing for new people all the time, I feel as though I'm not taking steps to further my career. I know that this isn't true, and I have to develop patience, which I've never had. I picked a hell of a career for someone who doesn't like to wait.
I've decided to try and take a bit of time off from auditions, because I feel as though I haven't reached my full vocal potential, and won't until I've spent more time with my new teacher and in the practice room. I hate going into auditions feeling as though the product I'm selling is incomplete. Since Young Artist Programs are supposed to DEVELOP you, there's a balance that should be struck between showing you are a good singer, but also showing that you have potential to be developed. I feel like my balance is slightly off-kilter...I want to have a better "first version" to show companies, and the only way to do that is to take a step back from auditions.
This is a scary prospect, because if I'm not actively singing for new people all the time, I feel as though I'm not taking steps to further my career. I know that this isn't true, and I have to develop patience, which I've never had. I picked a hell of a career for someone who doesn't like to wait.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
First Week is done!
I made it through the first week of OFY tour in good voice and in good company. Our cast was really great...not a weak link in the bunch, everyone relaxed and happy, and ready to teach a few thousand kids about opera. I was a little sad to leave, but am looking forward to a short break back in Cincy before my next tour leg.
Before returning to Cincy, though, I've made a stop in Chicago to see Jon in Gianni Schicchi with the Dupage Opera Theater. It was a wonderful show! Almost everyone involved has been/is about to be a Ryan Center Artist with the Lyric Opera of Chicago. The talent level was exceptional, but more than that, everyone seemed to be having such a great time up there, and the good times continued afterwards when we went out to celebrate closing night.
It was great to meet and talk with these singers...about outreach, about finding jobs, and about how life goes on whether or not you're singing at the Met. I know I've said it before on here, but I love being a part of this family of people who have chosen the same path I have. It's very enlightening to speak with people who are a bit ahead of me on the path...I always leave these conversations reassured and glad to see how genuinely nice most singers are.
Now it's back to CIncy...after tying up a few loose ends at my old apartment, whose lease ends Monday. Then I'll REALLY be done with Chicago, for now :-( it's been fun!
Before returning to Cincy, though, I've made a stop in Chicago to see Jon in Gianni Schicchi with the Dupage Opera Theater. It was a wonderful show! Almost everyone involved has been/is about to be a Ryan Center Artist with the Lyric Opera of Chicago. The talent level was exceptional, but more than that, everyone seemed to be having such a great time up there, and the good times continued afterwards when we went out to celebrate closing night.
It was great to meet and talk with these singers...about outreach, about finding jobs, and about how life goes on whether or not you're singing at the Met. I know I've said it before on here, but I love being a part of this family of people who have chosen the same path I have. It's very enlightening to speak with people who are a bit ahead of me on the path...I always leave these conversations reassured and glad to see how genuinely nice most singers are.
Now it's back to CIncy...after tying up a few loose ends at my old apartment, whose lease ends Monday. Then I'll REALLY be done with Chicago, for now :-( it's been fun!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Getting my Second Wind
Yesterday I started my first leg of the 2011 portion of the Opera for the Young tour. And it's so much fun! And work. I love singing for work. It's very refreshing and beginning to reaffirm my career choice once again.
It is great to have such an engaged audience...the kids don't hold anything back!
More on the tour later this week.
It is great to have such an engaged audience...the kids don't hold anything back!
More on the tour later this week.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Woodshedding
While I am waiting here, in Young Artist Limbo, it can be very frustrating and disheartening to receive these rejections and not have much going on and keep the faith that something WILL come along eventually. It always has, so now should be no different. I am stuck with the question of What to Do in the Meantime, though, and I always revert back to what I know: woodshedding and creating my own opportunities.
I am fortunate to have a found a wonderful teacher here in Cincinnati, one who is willing to work with me despite his many demands as a professor at CCM. Under his tutelage I am reworking quite a few aspects of my technique. Reworking technique is difficult because it feels like you are reverting back a couple of years in your training for awhile. And you ARE...you're going back to the time when you started to learn a bad habit (for me, this was about 2008) and fixing it. It doesn't take 3 years to fix it, but it takes a few months of patience, and relearning stamina and diction. So I'm in the middle of that now.
Once everything IS fixed, I get to put my new technique to work...this time in a new recital with Kyra, my kickass cellist in Chicago. We are doing a similar program to the one in September, in that we want to find rep that doesn't include the Baroque period. Personally, I'd like to find as contemporary a program as possible while still making sure the music is Tonal, ie: pleasant to listen to. I think that will open up our venue options once the recital is ready to perform. This challenging parameter is making me listen to A LOT of cello and soprano music these days, and I can't think of a more pleasant way to spend my time.
I am fortunate to have a found a wonderful teacher here in Cincinnati, one who is willing to work with me despite his many demands as a professor at CCM. Under his tutelage I am reworking quite a few aspects of my technique. Reworking technique is difficult because it feels like you are reverting back a couple of years in your training for awhile. And you ARE...you're going back to the time when you started to learn a bad habit (for me, this was about 2008) and fixing it. It doesn't take 3 years to fix it, but it takes a few months of patience, and relearning stamina and diction. So I'm in the middle of that now.
Once everything IS fixed, I get to put my new technique to work...this time in a new recital with Kyra, my kickass cellist in Chicago. We are doing a similar program to the one in September, in that we want to find rep that doesn't include the Baroque period. Personally, I'd like to find as contemporary a program as possible while still making sure the music is Tonal, ie: pleasant to listen to. I think that will open up our venue options once the recital is ready to perform. This challenging parameter is making me listen to A LOT of cello and soprano music these days, and I can't think of a more pleasant way to spend my time.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sloooow time
I haven't written much lately because there isn't much to report. Now that auditions are over and I'm 50% rejected, 50% waiting, and my tour doesn't pick up again for a couple weeks, I'm stuck in Cincinnati limbo.
My nanny job went well. And I just turned down a show (one of the first times ever :( ) because of financial instability.
In order to keep myself from being COMPLETELY deprived creatively, I'm planning another recital with Kyra, my cellist, this spring (very exciting!), hoping to do some woodshedding on my technique with my new teacher, and, as my new year's resolution, dancing at least twice a week down at Cincinnati ballet.
Writing more in here would probably be good too. We'll see.
My nanny job went well. And I just turned down a show (one of the first times ever :( ) because of financial instability.
In order to keep myself from being COMPLETELY deprived creatively, I'm planning another recital with Kyra, my cellist, this spring (very exciting!), hoping to do some woodshedding on my technique with my new teacher, and, as my new year's resolution, dancing at least twice a week down at Cincinnati ballet.
Writing more in here would probably be good too. We'll see.
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