Exploring Why I Sing and Have Chosen Opera as My Career

I stole this off the Wolf Trap Opera Blog because I think it is applicable to every singer at any given point during their career. It is an explanation, to yourself and to others, of why you have chosen this career. I have been as candid as possible in my answers.

Here we go:

* Who are you trying to please?

Myself and my audience. A lot of what I do behind the scenes (in a practice room) is a self-satisfactory level of technique and artistic expression. But once I am in front of an audience, I feel that I am wholly singing for THEM. I want people to feel like I've made a connection to them through my expression.


* Are you trying to make a living, make a difference, or leave a legacy?

I care more about the first two...I've recently reached a tricky point in my career where I still ABSOLUTELY NEED a day job in order to pay my bills/rent/food/student loans, but...I don't need it all the time. There have been/will be months where my living comes from singing, and that is the best feeling in the world. I also, as I mentioned above, am looking to make a positive difference in some lives through art. That is why I've participated/will continue to perform in outreach groups. If we don't have a next generation audience, there will be no next generation of opera. Legacy...well, that would be nice, but I would rather have a couple of kids be my legacy than my amazing voce.


* Where is your team – the people you trust?

My coaches, my boyfriend and my parents. I feel so fortunate to have worked with some of the best coaches in the World here in Chicago...my coach this past year has been the perfect mix of criticism, praise, honesty, and ass-kicking. I would not have gotten as far as I have this year without her. My boyfriend is another sort of coach...I am fortunate to have someone who has been at this game 8 years longer than I have to provide support, information, encouragement, and frankness. My parents have supported me since day 1...it's amazing how much they've done for me, not only financially, but emotionally. From "Are you SURE you need grad school? Ok, we'll figure out a way to make it happen" to "honey, I googled this opera company, you should look at them!" my parents have done everything in their power to help me succeed.


* What does busy look like?

Performing in 1 show, learning the next, and knowing there are 2 more around the corner....a.k.a. NOW :-)


* Choose: challenge your colleagues, or just do what they ask.

Challenge, but listen to their answers...but challenge! I hate how so many singers are taught they are "inferior" rhythmically and technically to their instrumental colleagues. I played violin for 12 years...my ear and my counting is as good as theirs, if I focus the way they do! I am also at a tricky place where coaches/conductors/directors are sort of my colleagues, and sort of my superiors. I gauge whether or not to challenge them, but it varies from situation to situation.


* Are you prepared to actively sell yourself?

Thanks to grad seminar and my inability to shut up, I am! I have the headshot/resume/bio/businesscard/website package put together, I am willing to do any sort of performance (within reason) and I think I'm good and don't mind telling people about myself. I am proud of who I am as an artist.


* Which: to invent a category or to be just like [insert name of famous singer here], but better?

I think I have to invent a category, since people tell me I have a "unique" sound. I don't want to be "just like" anyone, because I am not. And I despise the fach system trying to slot everyone into one type of role. Different roles speak to me and fit my voice different ways, and I try not to be shuttled into one category of voice type.


* How close to failure, wipe out and humiliation are you willing to fly? (And while we’re on the topic, how open to criticism are you willing to be?)

I've already stood on a street corner asking people for money to save Lake Michigan...500 rejections in 6 hours? My threshold of humiliation is sky-high. I'm still at the age where I believe I will succeed, so all criticism is welcome. I hope I never get too proud to accept criticism.


* Is perfect important? (Do you feel the need to fail privately, not in public?)

I have had semi-public failures already (not many, but I can remember them all, quite clearly, since the first one, when I was 11 and couldn't get through the first phrase of my solo on 1 breath in synagogue choir) and it feels terrible. I do embarrass easily, so it is difficult for me to imagine and accept public humiliation. That said, I never think what I do/sound like is perfect...but I need to work on accepting what I do and not questioning it, or trying to please everyone in every audience.


* How long can you wait before it feels as though you’re succeeding?

I've said till age 30..but one of my friends has put it another way: If you can achieve 1 or 2 milestones per year that feel significant to the growth of your career, you are already a success. By that motto, I have already succeeded this year. I think that plus eventually earning enough of a living to have kids, and I will feel satisfied with my success.


* Are you done personally growing, or are you willing to change and develop?

I'm 24...does ANYONE think they're done at that age? I change every day. Everybody does. If I don't feel as though I'm successful yet, I HOPE I can change and develop!