Beaver Creek, CO

I made it up to the top of the mountains...after a 4 hour flight, 3 hour drive, with parents and 3 kids. Now we're in this GIANT awesome townhouse, and I am nannying to my little hearts content.

And the family keeps asking me to sing for them! I haven't yet...but it brings up an interesting issue among singers:

Singing for Different Groups of People. I think that audiences can be classified a few ways:

-the audition panel. Anywhere from 1-8 people, with their pencils scribbling away about you and their glances from each other to your resume to their auditor sheets to you. While it is nerve racking, I have developed ways of not paying attention to what they are doing and instead trying to PERFORM my butt off for them. It's what they prefer and it's much better than staring them down.

-"mankind" - the audience is in a darkened theater, retirement home performance space, school gym, etc., with anywhere from 50-5000 seats, and I can't SEE individual faces while I'm onstage. This, to me, is ideal. I LOVE performing for mankind. If it's an outreach situation, I can often feel the love coming from the collective group and that, for me, is why I sing. To share something that may touch others, or at least make them feel something.

and then you have this kind of group situation where I am now...people who meet you, find out you're a singer, and then say "oh great! sing something for me RIGHT NOW!" This is far more nerve racking than a staged performance, when you have others to play off of, not to mention an orchestra, costumes, and other elements to enhance what you're doing. It's also worse than an audition, where the panel is judging you...but at least you might get a job out of it. To be on the same level as a group of people who don't really know you, in close quarters (many people don't realize that an opera voice is much, much louder than a normal speaking voice), trying to give them a taste of what you do without blasting their ears out.

So far I have balked at this request, but I think I might give in. The more you share what opera is, the more educated others become, and that might be what keeps the art alive.

At least it's Christmas time so I can get away with a cheesy holiday song instead of something like Lulu.

O Holy Night it is!

A Short Break

Not much to report. I'm finally almost completely moved into Jon's apartment in Cincinnati, and it's starting to feel like home. Auditions are pretty much done...though I will be driving to Cleveland tomorrow for my last one of the year (woohoo!). Then I'm off to Denver for an xmas nanny gig, and then I'm back in Cincinnati until OFY picks up again at the end of January.

It's a little weird to have this break from singing. I feel more like a "normal" person, able to work, come home, cook dinner, hang out at night with no rehearsals, etc. But I also feel a little aimless. I'm pretty sure one of my auditions will work out for something next year. I'm not too nervous about that, and I think I'll feel refreshed and ready to take on any new projects that come my way.

It's good that I have some time off, as I'm still adjusting to Cincinnati...it's definitely different from Chicago! I'm in the process of meeting people, but it takes awhile to build up relationships. It is, however, WONDERFUL to finally live with Jon and not in different cities from each other. Getting to the same city was the hard part. Whatever comes next should be easy.

In the thick of it

2 auditions Thursday, 2 auditions yesterday. Now I have the weekend off, and start up again in Chicago on Monday.

Though it is overwhelming to rattle off all my auditions when someone asks about my schedule, it is much easier to do them when it's all happening in real time.

But I will say this: being at NOLA (the audition studios in NYC) during these weeks has to be the most stressful thing I've witnessed in a while. Or at least, it should be. 100 people crowded into a tiny hallway, 3 different companies holding auditions on the same floor, everyone either making or avoiding idle chit-chat with everyone else....and I kind of like it. I feel comfortable enough in how I'm sounding and performing to think that a company will (eventually) notice and hire me. Yes, the sheer numbers are against everyone who is trying to make a go of this career. I finally feel like I have something worth sharing in the performances I give, and that's what these auditions are...mini, super-important, judged performances.

Now I'm off to Long Island to hang out with Megan, my maid of honor...getting AWAY from the giant nervous crowd of 20-something singers sounds pretty awesome right now.

Gearing Up

I've just spent a week at home, resting and seeing family. My mother and father threw a great engagement party for Jon and I, so he could meet all the relatives and friends. He did VERY well...he's all used to talking to crowds, with the singing and everything.

Next up, I have 10 auditions in as many days. I am a little frazzled, mostly by the thought of going through 5 cities for all of them! Singing isn't that stressful to me, but travel sure as hell is.

I am excited to share my voice with all the companies, and hopefully something awesome will come of it. Wish me luck!

I'm Backstage!

At my Puccini gala concert with the Verismo Opera Club of Chicago. I've finished my portion of this evening's program. And...it was FUN. One hopes that, having to put so much time and energy into getting onstage, that it would be fun once you're actually ON it. But it isn't, always. Sometimes it's nerve racking, if you haven't prepared adequately. Getting something "performance ready" generally takes a lot of time and energy for me..if I haven't put in the time, I tend to overthink what I'm doing, and that is when I'm most likely to screw up.

I will say that I spent a bit less time on the repertoire I sang tonight than I normally do...and yet everything went quite well. It leads me to believe that I am sabotaging myself when I doubt that I can, in fact, do my job. I just did it, it was fun, and I get to do it again on Sunday.

Birthday!

I am no longer even in the shade of "early 20's"

a hard-and-fast age of 25 means there are no more excuses. When I was about 18 I decided, after hanging out with an older crowd, that I was going to do every stupid thing there was to do until I was 25, and then that would be IT and there would be NO MORE SCREWING UP ALLOWED.

Then this morning I left a pancake in the pan for 10 minutes....thanks smoke detector! 5 minutes later, I blew a fuse while trying to blowdry my hair. WIN.

There is a certain confidence I'm gaining in my career, though. I am now officially at the age where Things Can Happen...big comp wins, young artist programs, etc. I have no more excuses of "oh I'm a baby, it's fine." The normal uncertainty of career is there, but hopefully this "wisdom" I'm gaining through all of my past stage experiences will calm me down a bit and make this audition season one of smooth sailing.

And now, to go fill out some forms where I have to check the "25-40" year old box instead of "18-24."...I'm sorry, WHO made that call? Maybe this means all the angst of adolescence will just melt away.....fingers crossed. Off to rehearsal!

It's about time somebody wrote something in this thing.

When I set out to start this blog, I wanted to fill it with all the excitement and mishegos of singing. I think I have done a pretty good job of that. One of my rules is that I try to keep entries pretty positive while still being true to my life.

And now we come to the center of the maze of a young opera singer's career: Audition Season. Audition season is a very trying time in which you can send out applications for several dozen young artist and summer programs throughout the country (or, if you're super ambitious, the world) and then you wait to see if you've been granted an audition. Never mind being given a contract....sometimes companies give you the breakdown of apps received, auditions granted, and contracts offered, and the numbers are Staggering. You just take it one step at a time and hope for them to hear you...cuz you can't get hired if you don't audition.

Knowing all of this, I bravely forged ahead and sent out my 2 dozen or so apps...and I have to say, the return has been pretty good. Perhaps 2 out of 3 times, I've been granted an audition. Yay! Even with those high numbers though, it's difficult to deal with rejections. We all go through it, and are told over and over again to "develop a thick skin." The competition for opera nowadays is comparable with that of Broadway...opera is super cool, and everyone wants to do it (less people want to SEE it, but that's another post...) so I've developed some coping mechanisms ("I am not my voice...there is more to me than my voice...even though it's what I've been working on since I was 4 years old and I feel like I'm baring my soul every time I open my mouth"...ok maybe that one won't work so well) and am so grateful every time I get an opportunity to share my voice with another person.

So...5 auditions behind me, 12 or so ahead. Time to forge on! With a WONDERFUL thanksgiving beforehand.